


Blackout

by ArkHive, Grave



Series: Wolf Like Me [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Back-from-the-dead!Chuck, M/M, Rangers fighting like highschool girls, angry dry humping, chuck and raleigh teaming up, kinda possessive!raleigh, some mild daddy!kink, virgin!Chuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:06:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArkHive/pseuds/ArkHive, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grave/pseuds/Grave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a reason why he had drifted with his old man despite their lack of proper communication- Chuck wasn’t someone who would let other people into his tight, dark world so easily. No, to be specific, he really didn’t want to have anyone else there at all!<br/>Herc had been a good compromise, someone who had seen the same darkness despite being the object of Chuck’s anger. Herc had been,... Well, family. It had made it easier.<br/>They had fitted perfectly together in their rage and guilt and seclusion.<br/>How the hell should he find someone like this again?</p><p>_____________________________________</p><p>Or-<br/>The one were Chuck is back from the dead and the preparations for Kaiju Attacks 2.0 are running on full speed. Of course he will fight on, but to do this he'll first of all need a new Co-Pilot. One that cannot only deal with the shit in his head but one that Chuck can also accept in his head!<br/>After 22 days of trial Mako is fed up with Chuck's shit and puts Raleigh in the ring with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blackout

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grave/gifts).



> This is my first fic I put up into AO3- wow! I am a bit proud of myself that I finally feel ready for this step (srsly, here is so much good shit, I have no words for it! All the talent!! )
> 
> It's also my first PR fic! *whoop whoop* I wrote it yesterday in one go for my beloved Mel, who hypes with me over this glorious movie and shares all my horribly deep Chuck!feels.  
> It is somewhat a prequel for a role play we're currently planning, but I'm actually tempted to continue Blackout in further chapters too.  
> We'll see what my muses say :)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> (Title from the same named Linkin Park song)
> 
> >>>> EDIT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  
      Chuck was fighting. Like he always had been. Always would be. This was forever his world - The edge of the apocalypse. He couldn't even remember anymore how his life had been before the Kaiju. Everything of it seemed to be left behind in a dark cloud of given up emotions andmemories. The only thing he had kept him from being swallowed up by the fog were the memories of his mum he refused to let go of. He needed those. Chuck wasn't sure he'd be able to go on without them. Without the pain and anger and need for revenge. Maybe he would lose his grip around reality and just fade away.  
  
He had been thinking about this a lot when he was still piloting Striker Eureka. His old man knew of course, the drift allowed no secrets as big as this one. But he never said anything and Chuck was glad for it.   
  
He knew he wasn't the biggest feel-talker and whatever other flowery bullshit people wanted from him since he was enlisted with 12. But this one topic was something he would never be able talk about, ever. This was his darkness alone and he needed its brooding strength.  
  
At the momentnot as urgently as before the bridge had collapsedbut still enough to keep up his will to fight.   
Something had happened. A second force had joined his dark cloud to fuel him. And this one really kept him up and going.  
It was not even that ironic when he thought about it. It was already so elementary part of his life and personality, that it would have been more peculiar if some other source than death itself would strengthen him.

But not anyone else’s death.

His own death.  
Chuck had been dead.   
He couldn’t even vaguely recount how often he had repeated this sentence already to himself. Over and over. In the silly hope that repeating it would make it more logical or less horrifying. Or at least this tiniest bit more... real?  
It was odd.   
He had exploded and been vaporized by a goddamn atomic blast miles and miles deep in the Pacific ocean. Everybody saw it. Fuck, even _he_ saw it for the flash of a second!  
He had bloody felt it!  
The light and the heat and the shock. But no pain. No. Everything went all too fast for this.   
  
Chuck remembered thinking about his old man, all alone now and left with Max to take care of. He had thought about his mum, long gone but still so beautiful in his head. Had thought about Gipsy Danger, now the last barrier between the survival of humanity and the total apocalypse. Had thought about Raleigh, the returned hero.  
  
Raleigh...  
  
The next thing Chuck remembered was how he was washed up at the beach of bloody Hokkaido! Not exactly the warmest place to come back to life. Or the most comfortable after several Kaiju attacks against it.  
Survivors had found him. Other survivors had recognized him. Doctors had helped him. Soldiers had brought him back.  
And now here he was, merely three months after his death and fighting yet again.   
  
This time not in a Jaeger but on a mat. Back in the training rooms of the Shatterdome inHong Kong. They wanted him to test candidates. Some old recruits, some new ones. Every single one of them handpicked by the dear General Mako Mori, freshly promoted about a month ago. Hong Kong was her base now. The Jaeger program hers to guard and keep running. Bringing it on the new course and preparing it for the next step in their battle that was impossible to avoid _._ The second wave of shit that would come down to them. Or _up_ , considering where they’re actually appearing.  
  
Those two nerds, the German guys, have seen it. Their crazy Kaiju drifting had continued to influence their minds. Brought them blackouts filled with nightmares. It had made them edgy enough to risk a double check. Better safe than sorry, right? But when they drifted with that tanked up rest of Kaiju foetus, what they had only assumed had become once again hard reality-  
The bridge hasn't been the end.   
Just humanities ticket for more time.  
  
Fine. Chuck swallowed his bitterness and smirked ones again into the apocalypse’s face. They wanted another fight? Then c'mon, you ugly shits! Chuck Hansen was ready for you!  
Only that he wasn't.  
  
They were still building the new Jaeger platoon and his old man, his only suitable co-pilot, had been declared unfit to continue as a Ranger. The wounds from his last battle weren't that bad to make him an invalid (thank god for that!), but bad enough to keep him from achieving the requiredfitness level a pilot must have to be able to cope with being in a Jaeger. The Kaiju had robbed him of his strength. And had robbed Chuck again of a parent. Not completely, no, but in the way he needed him the most. The only way they could be father and son without needing to communicate about it. The battle field had been their safety comfort zone.  
But not anymore.   
Herc’s place was now with the recruits and with Mako. Training and guiding and helping to built up the new program.  
And Chuck had been forced to find a new co-pilot.  
Fuck this shit.  
  
  
  
     It was already the second week they were trying this, but so far every candidate they had presented to him, no matter how well chosen and seemingly compatible, had been badly beaten by Chuck. There was a reason why he had drifted with his old man despite their lack of proper communication- Chuck wasn’t someone who would let other people into his tight, dark world so easily. No, to be specific, he really didn’t want to have anyone else there at all!   
Herc had been a good compromise, someone who had seen the same darkness despite being the object of Chuck’s anger. Herc had been,... Well, family. It had made it easier. Never mind his black cloud.   
They had fitted perfectly together in their rage and guilt and seclusion.  
How the hell should he find someone like this again?  
Just because they all carried their package doesn’t mean he wanted anyone to see his. Especially not some over eager newbie that was even younger than him. The fuck, Mako? How could she bring him candidates like this?   
  
When it came to the third week of incompatible trials and rising frustration on all fronts, Chuck thought, he probably should have see what was coming next.   
It had been lying in the open so plainly visible and logical that they had almost overlooked it.  
But only almost.  
On the 22nd day in a row, Chuck entered the training room to work his way through a new line of recruits only to find it empty, except for Mako and Raleigh. Raleigh was in his tracks, holding a stick and seemingly waiting for him.  
Images of their last fight had immediately flooded his mind.  
He had been too hasty and led by anger and disappointment. Losing had been unavoidable in hindsight.   
Chuck wasn’t the same man anymore. Angry, yes. But not about Raleigh.   
This made things better but also... not.  
  
Chuck wasn’t an idiot. He was well aware that after all the trouble they had so far with finding him a co-pilot, trying Raleigh was a logical choice. Especially since Raleigh needed a new partner as well with Mako out of the field. It would be his third co-pilot. The third person to share his mind with, his whole being with. Before the bridge had collapsed, Chuck had assaulted Raleigh, had been so incredibly angry at him for the exact same issue he had so face right now himself. Back then, it had been clear to Chuck - Raleigh had fled like a dog with its tail between the legs and left the war for other people to solve. Took all his skills and experience with him. Because he didn’t want another pilot after his brother’s death.  
Chuck hadn’t understood it then, now he did.  
  
And the memory of his sixteen year old self, that would have jumped through the roof about the simple honour of being tested to be compatible with Gipsy Danger’s pilot Raleigh Becket, didn’t make it any easier for him. Not one tiny bit.  
Trapped between reluctance, weird insecurity and stubbornness he went into the ring to fight. He thought about declining, but there weren’t many other choices left. Whatever it was that had saved him and brought him to the Hokkaido coast, it had also brought him back into the game. And if was forced to continue the game, Chuck wanted to be back in a Jaeger and not to be dropped to the sideline because he was unable to connect with others.   
Raleigh was the best and worst choice combined.  
Not unlike his old man.  
So, why not?  
They fought under Mako’s observing gaze and contrary to their past fight, this one made Chuck feel... alive.   
Embarrassingly alive even.   
  
When Raleigh held Chuck to the ground to score the balancing point, his own excitement and flushed heat had surprised him. Was this him now or the teenager from seven years ago? It took all his strength to keep his breathing under control, to not react to the fine layer of sweat over Raleigh’s skin.  
And when Mako declared them compatible and that they would try drifting next, Chuck wasn’t sure if he was happy or terrified.   
He sorted his pants inconspicuously, let Mako and Raleigh talk about whatever the hell she had been analysing while watching them. It was good their backs were turned on him. It gave him time to control his increasing blush and nerviness rooted in his spiralling thoughts and memories.  
Raleigh was his first real chance to go back into a Jaeger.  
But there were things he didn’t felt ready to share with him.   
And it was not his dark cloud he was thinking about.  
  
  
  
   
      Their first drift was pretty much a disaster.  
The control room had started to initiate their neuronal hand shake but before they even started to drift, Chuck panicked and closed himself completely off of Raleigh. Tendo was confused. Mako was worried. And Raleigh was not amused. But he breathed and composed himself quickly, said it was okay and Chuck should just try to relax. He remembered very well how nervous he had been at his first drift with Mako.   
Chuck didn’t say anything. Just nodded.  
This was just so not the same thing as with Mako. Really, really not. She might have some big soft spot for the American and was probably a founding member of his fan club in the Shatterdome, but that was not nearly as embarrassing as-  
No. Stop it! Don’t think about it!  
He needed to make this drift! But for this he needed to suppress those specific memories in the last corner of his mind. As if they’d never happened. Yes.  
The second drift wasn’t that different from the first.  
Tendo initiated the sequence and Chuck could already feel his nervous system being linked with Raleigh’s. He felt the pull into the drift and thought he’d be ready, but in the next blink he was back in the test room and stared against glass and the people behind it. Again he had shut down and pushed himself away. It wasn’t as much intention as it was subconscious.   
A subconscious that battled to stay subconscious.  
Chuck swore, rubbed hard over his eyes.  
Calm the fuck down.   
If you wanna do this, stop being a pussy.  
You somehow always knew that you couldn’t stay with the old man forever.  
And now they presented you Raleigh of all people, so bloody soldier up and swallow that rotten egg.  
The subsequent belly aches could be dealt with later.  
The expression on Raleigh’s face started as reluctant as Chuck felt. Great. He must think that he disliked him so much that he fought the drift with every fibre. Or even worse, that they weren’t compatible after all.  
Well, maybe they weren’t.  
Maybe what Chuck had felt, this mix of recognition and memory and.... _right_ could’ve been just an illusion. He still woke up in the middle of the night sweating out of every pore from nightmares he had no memory whatsoever of. His mind clearly wasn’t at its best at the current point.  
Chuck averted Raleigh’s glare, rather looked at Tendo and Mako behind the glass. “One more time.” Their hesitance made his stomach turn around. “Please.” It was a quiet addition but honest and humble enough for Mako to react. To lay her head slightly sideways and stare at him. To see through him. And to eventually nod.  
Tendo’s voice announced the hand shake for a third time, his voice lowly vibrating in his ears and this time Chuck let himself fall. Consequences be damned.  
  
   
Everything went so fast and slow at the same time. He already knew that, how mere seconds can become years in your head. So many things streamed through him parallelly. The old man’s memories full of duty, pain and endurance. Mako’s fear, pride, sorrow and hunger for revenge. Yancy’s shadow of terror and love. Raleigh’s aching hole in his soul that matched terrifyingly perfect to Chucks dark cloud. The sharing of their losses and their anger against the Kaiju. Their hopes to beat them, the joy in Raleigh’s heart to have shut down the bridge, Chuck’s irritation to be alive, the sinking in defeat and realisation that this was not the end. And at the end of it all was a light. Chucks light, buried under the dark cloud and thick fog. The only thing that had kept him going apart from his anger and pride. The only thing he didn’t want Raleigh to see.   
But he can feel him next to himself. Staring with him in the light, trying to get behind the blending effect and peek at its source. “It’s so warm.” Raleigh’s voice feels like an echoing whisper, full of wonder and curiosity. “What is it?”   
  
“Old junk. Leave it.” Chucks voice doesn’t sound as firm as he would have liked it to be. His mind was pushing against Raleigh’s. Pushing him away from what he cannot be allowed to see. Yet, the moment he manages to bring them into the pull of reality, Chuck can feel how the fog is breaking open and giving glimpses of the light’s source. Please don’t look back. Don’t turn around. Just... don’t to it. Please don’t let him see anything.  
The moment they came back and wereaware of their real environment again, Chuck looked to his co-pilot and swallows hard. Raleigh was looking at something behind his own shoulder that wasn’t there anymore. His face an expressionless mask.   
Heat creeps up Chucks body, makes him feel truly uncomfortable in his pilot suit for the very first time.   
  
“Neuronal hand shake succeeded and is stable and strong. Congratulations, boys!” Tendo cheered over the speakers.  
“Welcome back.” Mako’s smile was audible in her voice.  
Yet the only thing he could really pay attention to was the short meeting of their eyes. Barely a fraction of a second when Raleigh was turning his head back to face the security glass wall. And what he saw was... nothing.   
No indication of anything at all.  
No respond over the drift link either.  
Just the reflection of his own rising irritation.  
As soon as Raleigh’s gaze was directed at the glass though, he got all smiley and easy. Doing this little bowing gestures to Mako and the others. “All good things are three.”   
Ha.  
Three come backs.  
Three co-pilots.  
Three drift tries.  
It echoed in Chuck’s mind and he couldn’t suppress a dimpled smile.  
“Please tell the engineers I wanna keep the sword. That thing was handy as hell!”  
“Sure. Maybe you both think about what extras you’d like to add to your Jaeger. It is still in construction so now is the right time.”  
“We’ll do.”   
   
  
     They haven't spoken a word after their connection was cancelled again and the team came in to get them out of the test construction and their heavy suits. Raleigh had worn his old one still from Gipsy Danger. Chuck obviously had worn a borrowed one, the one that was only there for test run like this one. They both would soon get a matching pair of suits that would fit all neat and smooth into their new Jaeger. But where Chuck would like best to get his old suit back from the molecular level at had been blasted up to, he knew instinctively that Raleigh didn’t mind at all. For him it was not about the suit. Not even so much about the Jaeger (even though Chuck felt he missed Gipsy Danger). It was all about the people. Especially his co-pilot. A back-from-the-dead-man he actually barely knewand had been affronted by on many occasions, but he still trusted him enough to be right and perfect for himself. To built up a new team together.  
What was this about the American? How could he still be so strong and....loving? Wanting to protect the people was _the_ perfect motive to be in a Jaeger, but Chuck was well aware that neither Mako nor he himself had this point on the top spot of their priority list but more personal reasons.  
And after their drift he knew, Raleigh always had been different. Or actually just more.... human.   
  
As soon as they had got the last piece of suit off him, Chuck had excused himself and left.  
God, he needed a shower.   
And a drink would be actually nice, too.  
  
He wasn’t sure how much the other had truly seen of him. He certainly had seen a lot of Raleigh. Like, really, a _lot_ lot. Enough to make him envious and warm and sad at the same time. Enough to feel as if the drift had left him open and confused and overwhelmed and indigent and he felt himself sliding somewhere in between his fifteen and twenty two year old self.  
  
“You saw that big hole too, right?”  
“Fucking hell!”   
Chuck spun around in surprise, could feel his heart racing form the unexpected voice suddenly all too close to him. How did he-? Since when was he walking next to him? Had he run after him? Because he was pretty sure that when he had fled the training rooms, Raleigh still had enough armour to get rid off for Chuck to vanish into thin air.   
Foreign memories of the American and Mako suddenly sprang up in his mind. Hm. Okay. That seemed to be part of the deal with this guy. Determination and stalker-like attitude if he needed to get things off his chest. _So not_ what Chuck was used to or could currently deal with. Maybe he should introduce him more formally to Max.  
“What big hole?” He asked back eventually, willing his shaken pulse back down.  
“The one next to that foggy light you were so embarrassed of.”  
“I wasn’t-!“  
“Chuck, we drifted. I can _still_ feel you freaking out about it.” Oh sweet pacific. So near and yet so far. As expected this was getting pretty ridiculous already and Chuck hated himself somewhat for it. Just swallow it down and be the damn Ranger you were supposed to be since you were bloody twelve.   
To his own surprise this time Raleigh seemed to react to his distress. He was brushing with his left through his hair, messing it up even more than it already was. “Anyway, that hole-“  
“Seriously dude, I dunno what hole you mean.” Chuck interrupted because this was the honest truth. What damn hole was he talking about? There had been no hole. Shouldn’t he know best of all people if he had a hole in himself?   
Raleigh shrugged a bit helpless, but not letting go of the theme. “I think it might be your Blackout. From, you know, you being... dead, I guess. But then obviously not ‘cause you’re here.” Ha. That actually made an awful lot of sense. Chuck was just staring at the other. It was hard to tell what was scarier - Having obviously a black hole in him after all or not even being aware of its existence untilsomeone else came along to point it out? If he hadn’t been so occupied with other things he probably would’ve noticed it, too. “At the next drift, I thought we could try and check it out. See what it is. If it’s really something to do with, you know. Only if you want to of course! Could be dangerous for all we know. I don’t wanna mess with your head!” For that, he’s eight years too late.  
  
Chuck was still looking at him. Unblinking and motionless. Him being alive was a mystery, yes. But if he was completely honest, he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to solve this puzzle. Knowing was _not_ always better. Raleigh said sol too, maybe it would fuck up his head. Even more than it already has.  
“I have to think about this.”   
“Of course.” Raleigh nodded.   
Seconds in odd silence passed. Chuck didn’t know where to look. If he didn’t know it better, he’d say that those big baby blue eyes tried to will up a drift between them. And that was one hell of an uncomfortably close feeling at a far too early moment of their fresh union.   
“Is there anything else?” It came out harsher than intended. But the edginess in him had rubbed his skin pretty thin by now.   
God. Could Raleighplease stop staring at him like he wanted to punch him? Or just do it? Chuck for his part thought he had mastered this day better than expected so far- Max would be proud of him. Herc maybe too. So fuck off, Becket!  
“No. I’m good.” Raleigh replied with a rather flat voice.  
Thank you! That wasn’t too hard, was it?  
 “Good.”   
And with that Chuck left the other behind once again and started to walk away.   
Maybe a step or two faster than necessary.   
At least until he was around the next corner and could shake that intense glance off his back.   
  
  
   
     Chuck had indented to back to his quarters. Take a shower, eat something, search for Max and Herc maybe or just lie in his bed and try to get used to this second person within his head. A second person with the emotional and mental luggage of two more. He was glad they managed the drift, because a life outside of a Jaeger had become unimaginable for Chuck. Still, this day had been straining on his nerves immensely and besides all that new chaos in his head, too many old things had been dug up along the procedure.  
In the end, his feet had brought him back into the combat training rooms. It was late enough that he could have one for himself and there was no over eager recruits annoying him with battle questions or wanting tips or even worse- asking him again how it felt at the bottom of the Pacific.  
  
Some push ups and sit ups to warm up before the sandbag got it bad with the staff for a while. It was not at all like when he trained with his dad, but this was not the point. He wasn’t here to train but to let some steam off. Trying also to shut of his overloaded thinking. Left. Right. Down. Kick. Sharp diagonal. For a bit this was quite nice, but at some point he got too impatient for the impact and whatever weird molecular group in his body had decided to start a party made him horribly itchy and like his skin was suddenly too tight for his mind. He absolutely hated what was happening with him.   
Actually already hated it since he was back. He hasn’t been himself since the incident, but hey, what do you expect, right? Even he understood that. He’d been through some traumatisingstuff and whatnot the shrinks had been telling him. Sure thing. But he didn’t like what was happening in his head. The sudden over thinking and all the new stuff that demanded consideration and attention. Before it had only been the Kaiju, the Jaeger, his old man and Max. Easy. Done.  
And now variables were changing all the time! The bridge is dead, but then again not quite. He had been gone, but he was back. The Jaeger program had been considered finished, but it was just about to rise to a whole new level. His old man had seemed okay, now he’s put out of the Pilot seat. Raleigh had been with Mako, but not anymore. All those new people, all those new things to adapt to. Fuck this! Sometimes it felt like he was twelve again and trying his very best to get everything done people want from him (his dad wanted from him!), to somehow manage to fit in and understand and not drown and lose everything before he can even get a hold of it first.   
  
Having Raleigh as his new Co-Pilot was actually just the icing on the cake made out of confusion, but this icing was spicy enough to mess up the whole other rest, too.  
  
Cards on the table, Chuck had been pretty edgy ever since Raleigh had come back into the field. Yet, when he was with Mako it had been all somehow manageable. Now that he was so close, (and not just close, he was in his goddamn head!), he didn’t know what to concentrate on anymore. It should be the next unavoidable Kaiju invasion. The training. The new weapons for their Jaeger. But all he could think about was-... Fuck! No! This has to stop right now or he couldn’t trust himself to not fuck up as soon as they're testing their Jaeger. If he even would make it as far. Maybe he would already loose his personal battle in the next training drift.   
  
Chuck couldn’t allow himself to be distracted every goddamn time Raleigh was near him. Failing now would be even more of a catastrophe than before his return. You know, his death hasn’t actually been that bad. At least he would’ve died a hero (had died a hero) and would not be kicked out of the program branded as eternal loser. Too fucked up after all to function any longer as the perfect war machine.  
  
The angry outcry was long overdue. The staff had been thrown away long ago into some corner of the room. It was so much better to beat up this damn sandbag with his fists. Maltreat it with his lower arms, knees and feet. The responding dull feedback from the bag was satisfying. The rising pain in his limps even more.   
  
“You should at least tape your hands if you wanna continue like this.”  
For the second time this day Chuck almost jumped right out of his skin in shock. His heart hammered brutally hard against his chest and it was certainly not from the angry punches he had thrown until now. And Raleigh? He was standing there, in the middle of the room, like it was his god given right, staring at him with that stupid indefinable expression.   
  
“Fucking hell! Fuck! The fuck you doing here? Are you stalking me?!”   
What the fuck was up with this sneaking up to him like a ninja and letting random comments fall into the empty air?!  
The quick glance out of Raleigh’s eyes had _“You kiss your dog with that mouth?”_ plastered all over it. Why Chuck knew this was out of question. The level of frustration rose by the second.   
“I just followed the pull.” Raleigh said simply, as if it was so obvious. Well, no. It was not. So fuck you.  
“We only drifted once so far!”  
“It was a strong connection.” The blond shrugged, still with this expression that drove Chuck mental. This _“I am always chilled and so much better than you because I’m longer in this and I also built a wall and Mako crushes on me”_ look. Chuck took a deep breath, ignoring that he could actually feel the pull right now. Ignoring the memory flashes that flooded his mind anew. Ignoring the broad smile from the News reports he had still lingering in his head but had never seen live. “We need to talk, I think.”  
Chuck folded his arms, the stretch in his muscles a welcomed yet far too short distraction from this situation. “You said you’re done, now let me be.”  
“This is not a game, _Charles_.”  
“I know that this is not a fucking game, _Rah-Leigh_!” The additional emphasis of the others name brought immediately the deep dark frown he already knew all too well on his face. There it was again, the killer glare. At least this one was totally on him. Not even his old man ever called him Charles!  “ _This_ is anything I've ever known! This is _my life_!” And he didn’t like one bit what was happening with it in the last weeks. Or that Raleigh was his golden ticket to continue his only purpose. “But you should know this since we had such a _well connected drifting_.” Bitter mocking dripped from his voice, his teeth slightly bared like a vicious dog.   
Two sudden steps into his direction stopped as abruptly as they had started. Chuck had twitched slightly, ready to jump backwards. Or maybe forwards. He hadn’t made up his mind about this yet.   
  
The flexing of Raleigh’s hands indicated how much he was restraining himself already. But because Chuck was a bit fucked up in the head (or maybe a bit more since recently), it just made his pulse beat even faster and his breath get caught for a moment in his throat.   
“You’re not the only one dealing with shit here, okay? I’d rather continued piloting with Mako or shit, have a normal life for at least for a few months! But I am still here because they need me. _Need us_! Don’t think I was all over the idea that Mako set me up with the army’s mascot brat!”  
Oh, he knew that already. That one had been one pretty obvious emotion in the drift.  
“What did you just call me?!”  
“I called you brat! You deaf or what?”  
One angry snarl and Chuck felt his body charging forward before he even knew he was moving. His first fist connected hard with Raleigh’s left cheek and jaw, the second got already blocked by his right. A retour came; Chuck ducked, landed another strike against the others left flank, then the right. An elbow came down hard in his neck. He groaned, but didn’t stumble. Fists and arms fought hard against each other. Strike, block, strike, strike, double block and throw back. Chuck raised his knee, brought it forceful in contact with Raleigh’s stomach, who for the split of a second sunk into himself. Long enough for Chuck to go with the movement and bring down a next kick against his popliteal space. Raleigh went down. At least that’s what Chuck thought. Within the next blink, Raleigh was charging up from the ground and rammed him head front like a bloody bull. Pushed him backwards with a growling outcry till Chuck butting hard against the room’s wall. The moment of irritation had cost him his whole cover and all he could feel was one fast fist after another raining down against his abs. Chuck was collecting al his strength to show the blond off him, stumbling involuntary after him and getting another brutal strike against the head.   
For a second everything got black. He barely noticed his body impacting with ground, spread out lengthwise and open for further attacks _._ But when he vision came back, Raleigh was straddling him and sitting down hard on his body. His hands were left and right to his head, his breath hot and heavy above him. Like his whole weight. Chuck wondered if his body could possibly heat up any more.  
His stomach and face where already throbbing from the punches he had taken in, but to his tiny satisfaction, Raleigh had taken a few hits from him, too. Enough to make him look like he had just came in from a long run. Or fuck.   
Chucks own spit got stuck in his throat again.  
  
“Get off me!” He growled, pushing at the heaving body over him. His eyes purposely didn’t look up far enough to meet the others eyes. He cannot deal seeing them so near in front of him in this sort of position.  
“Shut up.”  
Chuck snarled riled. “You shut up!”  
“I mean your mind, you insolent dickhead!”   
Disbelieve, irritation and rage mixed ugly in his stomach and must plaster a truly weird expression on his face because he could feel Raleigh exhaling hard against him. Like a really pissed off tiger.   
“Excuse me?!”   
“I saw beyond your precious little light, Chuck.”  
“.... Oh.”  
  
This was the most intelligent answer he was capable of giving to this.   
All air and energy was leaving his body at once, only to rush back with such force that he felt immediately dizzy and nauseas. So he had seen everything after all. Well, shit. The levels of hysteria that were swelling up in him felt comparable to those of a high school Asian girl. The sudden pressure behind his temples robbed him shortly of his sight. He had thought he would feel more braced for this unavoidable moment, but evidently he was not.   
“Yes, _oh_.” Raleigh imitated him with a dark snap. “I cannot stop thinking about it because you don’t stop _pulling me in!_ ”   
At this Chucks eyes finally snapped up to the American’s face and locked with those raging blue eyes. It was like watching a storm over the open sea.  
“I- what? I’m not-“ He started but was immediately shut up by a sudden back hand slap against his right cheek.   
“Don’t fucking dare denying it!”  
  
When Raleigh’s gaze became consistently darker and his jaw clenched together hard enough that Chuck could hear a dull cracking noise, he prepared himself for the next hard stroke but he what got instead was nothing but a deep groan, drowned in frustration and anger. White teeth were flashed at him.  
“God! You drive me mental, you know that?” The storm had turned into a full blown hurricane. “No one ever managed to do this to me. I don’t let them. But you- You are just so-!” Raleigh snarl groaned _._ Chuck was not sure if this was even a thing but this was what the other sounded like.   
Suddenly their foreheads touched, the blond’s hand was slightly rolling sideways and then back.   
“I saw it all in there.” A finger touched his temple, then it was gone again. “All your dirty little sessions. You and that press photo of me and your needy fifteen year old cock. How often did you steal yourself away from the other trainees or Herc when you saw me on TV and couldn’t hold it in your pants? How often did you saw me fight and could barely sustain a moan? How often did you jerk off in your bunk all over my face?”  
Chuck was frozen in place. Ice cold and unbearable hot at the same time. Was this really happening? It was too much input- His mind went completely blank due to the massive overload of emotions.  
  
“Two full years, Chuck. Two.”  
From fifteen to seventeen. He knows. He had been there. And lived now to regret it.  
“And when Gipsy went down and Yancy died you let me fall like a cheap prostitute. Or should I rather say, like a stupid pouting little kid that was angry at his toy for not unbreakable.”   
“This was not-“  
For this he received a rather bearable head bang, but not so mild as to not make him swear and suck in bitter breath.   
“Don’t even try lying to me anymore.” The warning was droned. The air got thin between them. “You are disappointed of me. You curse me. You hate me.”  
Yes. To all of it. He thought about retouring Raleigh’s head bang. Or just trying to shove him off somehow. But his body would even then be unable to move if a Kaiju would stuck in this instance his ugly head through the wall and drool this blue shit all over them.   
  
”You miss me.”  
A violent shiver ran through Chuck. His face felt like it was burning up together with his nerves. Why is he doing this? He shouldn’t have done this, okay! But fuck, he had been merely a teen and Raleigh had been- Raleigh and Gipsy and-....   
“No-“ Chuck tried anew to speak up, but he wasn’t even sure the other could hear him. His voice was so pathetically weak and low that he wanted to throw up over his own sordid frailty. Or just melt away into disgusting goo under those piercing eyes.   
“So much you can barely stand it.” Raleigh’s head was moving. His nose started to stroke along his already swelling cheek, over his own nose, along his jaw line and back to his ear. Husky breath covered his conch. “I also know what you did after I made you apologise to Mako.”  
Memories flared up in his mind- The toilet stalls next to the communal showers. His back pressed against the cold cistern, his head leaned all the way back into his neck, his teeth biting hard on the textile of his pulled up shirt to muffle any noises, his hand deep down his pants moving in a punishing rhythm that had made his eyes tear up.   
Raleigh must have sensed the recognition of Chuck. Maybe the drift was really already strong enough for the other to feel it. To feel _him_.  
And then something happened that made Chucks world spin anew.  
“Naughty, naughty boy.”  
The guttural moan vibrating through his bones cannot be his. No way. He had never- This must be- But when sharp teeth suddenly connected with his ear lope and bit down on it, the next moan was filled with overheated shivers. Only now he realised with a overwhelming impact that he was rock hard against Raleigh’s butt, God alone knows for how long already.   
And what did that cocky bastard do? Suddenly press his hips further down on it and chuckle dark against his ear. As if he knew Chuck was thinking about it, again.   
“Poor Herc. Having to cope with such a wanton son for all those years.”   
Don’t drag his old man into this. Not now. He was already feeling twisted and overwhelmed enough.  
“But that is over now. You are _my_ co-pilot now. That includes- If you pile up naughty distractions in that stubborn, needy head of yours, I wanna be at least an active part in them.”  
Chuck wanted to reply something. Anything, really. But when he felt slim lips pressed onto his, teeth grazing along his skin and a tongue forcing him to open up, he forgot every thought he ever had in his whole _life_. For a few second he even forgot how to fucking breathe.   
  
  
For the first time since he had been knocked to the ground Chuck was moving again. His hands, so far splayed out wide on the floor, had automatically found their way up to grip for Raleigh’s shoulders. His back, His arms. His head. Just everything he could reach. Too overwhelmed to have any sort of coordination or control.  He was answering the hungry groans into his mouth with his own thrilled moans.    
Teeth clicked together and tongues fought overeager and anything but elegant with each other. It was hot and messy and already more than Chuck had ever experienced with another person in his twenty two years on this doomed planet.  
Suddenly a hand was going into his muddled hair and grabbing it hard. Pulling his head away from Raleigh’s perfect, devouring mouth and further into his own neck. The rough tongue of the other was running from his jaw along his stretched out neckline, breathing hot against it and abruptly biting down at his pulse point. Chuck let out a half shocked, half throaty scream. Oh fuck this felt good!  
His nails dug into Raleigh’s skin and shirt. Urging him for more. C’mon. Again!  
The bite at his Adams apple was electrifying. He wasn’t even sure what had left there his mouth- Some sort of whiny scream. Accompanied from heavy lust filled shivering. Hips snapped up to the pressing down buttocks and trying somehow to rub against it. But the position Raleigh was still in madeit difficult, since he was pretty much pinned down for good.   
And again the other must have sensed his problem, because he was going from biting to kissing and sucking along his throat and bared shoulders while also slowly stretching out his legs. Sliding from his bend down sitting position into a full on lying on top of Chuck position.  
When he had felt pinned down before, he felt _buried_ now.  
  
Muscles and solid weight everywhere, pressing against him, and oh, the heat. So-much-heat. Their pelvises immediately moved against each other, Raleigh’s in alluring but uncompromising circles and Chuck’s blindly chasing after him. Never wanting the friction to ease up. Not even for a second.   
He was moaning Raleigh’s name, scratching along his softly moist skin. The scars were like landmarks under his fingers. Intriguing and electrifying.  Chuck had no idea how they had ended up from beating each other up to rutting against each other like horny teenager, but it didn’t matter anymore. Raleigh was right. This was what he had been craving since he was a goddamn fifteen years old! Not that he ever thought it would be even remotely possible to get a hold of the blond ranger extraordinaire. But damn, here he was. Fuck.   
“Raleigh- Ra-... I- Fuck!”  
His body was pressing up, frantically trying to get more and more and more of the other. The skilled mouth was suddenly back at his, swallowing down all his needy gasps and groans, biting playfully into his lower lip and licking relishing over his parted mouth.  
“I won’t fuck you.” Raleigh whispered out of nowhere and Chuck wasn’t sure if he was more irritated or shocked about this husky statement. “Not today at least.”  
Their groins were rubbing hard together, letting them breath heavier and heavier. Chuck started to whimper, felt his whole body sizzle and itch and didn’t know how else to express his need.    
“Sh, it’s okay. I don’t leave you hanging here. Trust me, okay?”  
The following groan could be counted as a strangled “Yeah.” Not that Raleigh cared for a proper reply. One of his hands was leaving Chuck’s hair to wander down his chest, his flanks and waist, down to his hip to take it in a firm grip and lifting them up. It intensified the motion immediately. Made the pair of tracks between them less obstructive. Raleigh ground against him hard, putting more force into his movements and snapped between Chuck’s spreads legs in that devouring rhythm, as if he could actually fuck him directly through the layers.   
  
“And the next time-“ Raleigh rasped between soft groans, “We’re gonna pop that sweet Australian cherry of yours.”  
“Oh fuck-!”  
“Oh yeah~ Gonna take my time preparing you. Make your needy but so _so_ patiently waiting hole all slick and open and ready for this cock you’re craving for so much.” Their kisses became sloppy, highly uncoordinated. Not because of Raleigh though, no. It was Chuck who felt like his body had turned into liquid fire. He felt twitchy and edgy and oversensitive towards everything. Raleigh’s hot breath against his sweaty skin and soft licks and bites along his jaw line were by now enough to make him arch up his back and cling to the American like his life depends on it. “I’ll make the waiting worth it, Chuck. Will fuck you so good that you’d be ruined for everyone else. You’d never even think of someone else but me.”  
As if he ever did anyway.   
There had been no one else. No one else as intriguing, as heroic, as untouchable, as strong, as hard working and brilliant for Chuck as Raleigh Becket. And this is why he hated him as much as he desired him. Was melting right now underneath him, but was deliberately not thinking about the after.  
  
They rutted together lost in rhythm and rose in force. “Come - on-!“ Chuck was half demanding, half whimpering.   
Raleigh only bit him again in the throat for it, dragging another throaty scream out of him.  
“Will also train some manners into you. A proper spanking is long overdue.”   
His soft whine at the mere mental image of this made Raleigh chuckle again.   
“You’ll be such a good boy, I know.” It was not a question and not a statement but a reassurance. As if he wanted to support Chuck’s back in something he didn’t even knew he wanted. Or needed. Or could do. Would do. God this was fucked up. But like piloting a Jaeger he already felt the irrevocable pull. The lingering knowledge that there was no turning back from this. That he _didn’t want_ any turn backs from this. The dark cloud was mixing with his light, but instead of one swallowing up the other they made this impossible paradox mixture within his soul.   
The lips wandered back to his ear, licking sweetly over the sensitive skin and breathing husky little groans into it. Till that beguiling voice whispered five little words that let his world ultimately explode and his mind liquefy. “Come for me, Chuck. Now.”   
A long steady noise that was a mixture of a moan and a whimper left his throat. Immediate hot wetness spread out in his boxers in quick spurts. He didn’t know how that guy made him do it, but he did it. Made him come in his pants right between their pressed together bodies without even being touched directly.   
Raleigh was kissing along his sweaty forehead. Chuck thought he could feel a smile on his lips, but he couldn’t see it. He wanted to see it. He tried to move, or at least to say something, but his body felt like after his very first hour long training session in a Jaeger. Somewhat paralysed and almost dead. The charged up released had left him breathless and sucked out.   
“There, see? Already such a good boy for me.” Another soft kiss on his eyelid.   
Chuck only shivered, stricken by another wave of post coital bliss.   
Maybe he could share his mind with this comeback wonder boy after all.


End file.
